Ask Me: Why does it feel all wrong?

 

 

“Who we are is up to us.  Discover our values, beliefs, needs.   Analyze the source and impact.  Make a choice.”

 Edith Johnston PhD LPC

 

When we are in a situation or making a decision, are we considering what is important to us before acting?   What is important to us – our values, our beliefs, and our needs are the foundation for responding to situations or making decisions.

We assume we know what is important to us.  However, deliberate conscious awareness of our values, beliefs and needs lets us keep them in focus at each turning point.

By exploring our values – identify them and rank ordering the top 5-10, we acknowledge our internal guiding system.  The top values are usually consistent over time.  However, the priority of the top 5-10 values may change depending on where we are at in the spectrum of life – youth, college student, worker/career, having young children, retired, etc.  Our priority adjusts for the #1 position with the top 5-10 being consistent.  This adjusts our perspective in situations and in making decisions.  If we are not basing our actions on our values – it feels all wrong.

Our beliefs are another part of the guidance system.  With beliefs we need to assess based on current information and experiences are they accurate for us.  Beliefs are adjusted as we learn more.  Think about when the earth was believed to be flat and we would fall off the edge and the current knowledge is the earth is a sphere.  We check with ourselves to determine the validity of our beliefs for us with our knowledge, experience and how it has been integrated.  If we have not assessed our beliefs so they are accurate for us or not utilized our beliefs for our actions – it feels all wrong.

Our needs, expectations wants impact our decisions.  We benefit from being honest with ourselves and knowing ourselves.  We make the choices by differentiating what we see/feel as our personal target and what belongs to others expectations or input for us.  Making the choice for ourselves helps to keep it from feeling all wrong.

Consideration can be given to others’ input.  We have choice.  By knowing our values, beliefs and needs we our empowered to make our choice.  We can identify the sources of the components to the situation or decision and choose.  It will feel alright.

 

What has been your experience?  What are your thoughts?  Share in the comments.  Lets connect.

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