Ask Me: Is there something wrong with me?



“Know that our idiosyncrasies are part of our norm.”

Edith Johnston PhD LPC


When we ask “is something wrong with me,” we are usually looking at a “disease” process; something that needs to be “fixed”; or not being “normal”.

Normal is defined as:  conforming to a standard, type or regular pattern; being usual, typical or expected.

Normal is a statistical reference.  It is the averaging of the differences to establish a standard or regular pattern.  Normal is not reality.  There is very little normal about an individual.  The biological functions and needs exist within each of us and still there is an individual pattern.  That’s why normal has a range.

Where does that leave us with “is there something wrong with me”?

Our idiosyncrasies, our unique characteristics leave us wide open for thinking something is worn with us and we are outside of normal.

Our focus needs to change to “what is our norm?”

What is norm:  a pattern or trait taken to be a typical behavior; a usual practice, procedure or custom.

Saying that, do we know our own norm?  Have we discovered our patterns, practices, procedures and customs?   Discovering and cultivating our norm allows us to engage in life fully.

This also implies we are aware of what individual patterns or traits are working well for us and which are not working well.  Cultivate those that work well and adjust/manage those that do not work well.  We are not looking at eliminating or negating one of our characteristics.  We are looking at changing them from liabilities to assets.

What expression of our patterns / traits do we desire?  How can we obtain our preferred outcomes?  We need to look at what is important to us to experience and produce.  How then can we beneficially apply and develop our traits and patterns to make the connection with the vision of our expression?  What do we want to do or experience?  And how are we going to make it happen?

Something is not wrong with us.  We need to understand what makes us tick; what is our norm.  With understanding we can cultivate our idiosyncrasies and immerse ourselves in being the best “me” and move forward with dreams and goals.

Normal is a standard, an average, as statistic used to communicate a probability to reference.  It is a grouping of whatever together.

We want to connect, not be defined by a grouping.  Knowing our unique evolving norm allows us to discover and cultivate who we are and live a fully expressed and connected life.


What has been your experience?  What questions do you have?  Reply in the comments.  Let’s connect.