When we experience the family of Mad our behavior is probably not pleasant for others to be around us. We may be frustrated and not know how to take the next step. We may be hurt in response to an interaction. Other possibilities in the Mad family are: angry, critical, irritated, skeptical or hostile. These feeling are very real for us and do need to be expressed and not bottled up. However, we have a choice in how we express them and thus get our needs met.
Acey says: Not being understood, not being able to understand, or not being able to get it done, can make us mad. We may shout, have a tantrum, or even throw things when we are mad. This releases the emotion some, but does not solve the problem. We need to find better behaviors and ways to express our anger and frustration. We need to be patient with ourselves and others.
It is ok to feel mad or frustrated. We want to let others know in a respectful way. We may need time out before we let others know what we are mad about. We can help ourselves by stopping, breathing, thinking and then sharing what our frustration is all about.
Dr. Edith says: The Mad family of feeling can easily get out of hand with potential harm to ourselves, others, or things. It may be only what we say or it may be physical. Anger is often connected to fear, pain, or self-doubt. When we acknowledge our “mad” feeling to ourselves first, then we can understand better where it is coming from. We can re-run the video in our head and observe what the situation is and decide what we need to express to change the situation. We may only be able to change our reaction and that will make a change in the situation.
We can also “blow off steam” instead of “exploding” by taking a time out, exercising, quieting ourselves. This will allow us to dissipate the intensity and the energy. We can then share what the “mad” was about or we can ask for help.
Getting “mad” can also be a factor in motivating us to act. That can be helpful. Then we consciously choose a beneficial way to express the anger. Defending ourselves, others, or a cause can benefit from getting mad and doing something constructive.
Stop; take a moment to figure out what the “mad” is about; release and relax safely; determine an appropriate action/expression; and share. Our emotions are valuable and honest messages for us. We have the choice and the ability in how we express our emotions.