Self-Pressure as a Multi-Talent

feather pic 2We can put great pressures on ourselves by expecting perfection.  When we accept others expectations of us without questioning we can add pressure.  We add pressures when we experience being ignored, rejected, or not included, not fitting in, not being understood or not connecting.  We have a choice on our response to our self-talk, what others are saying or doing, what situations we expose ourselves to, what we say yes to, and how we perform.  However, to choose we need to be aware and understand us.

We need to understand what is important to us by what values and beliefs we have.  Values are our guidance in how we live our lives with integrity.  Beliefs are what we have integrated from our situations, experiences, and learning.  We can benefit from examining our beliefs to see how factual they are for us.  Then we can choose to reframe a belief.  Such beliefs as – that did not come easy so I must not be so smart; or if it is not perfect it is not complete; are not accurate.  We need to reframe them and choose to take some pressure off.

Expectations we accept for ourselves come from our values and beliefs.  Expectations can be motivational and provide the impetus for us to progress.  Expectations can also be pressure we put on ourselves.  We can expect perfection.  We can expect that everything should come easily to us.  We can expect to perform at high standards always.  We can expect we are smart and thus can do everything on our own.  We can expect that we are able or should say yes always.  This is a great deal of pressure we put on ourselves.  We need to assess the benefits and the reality of the expectations.  We need to assess various options to handling these expectations.

Options are available when we look at the expectations.  We can choose to:

  • set boundaries (being able to say NO)
  • develop a pace that is comfortable
  • aim for excellence versus perfection
  • celebrate each step in the process
  • follow the journey of mastery
  • develop healthy habits
  • increase our communication skills
  • learn how to learn
  • realize we are not all things to all people
  • ask for help

We have within our control – our thoughts, our feelings and our behaviors.  These influence how we respond to and experience the different situations.  These are the basis for our self-inflicted pressures.  We can adjust, reframe, modify, or change our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  Thus NOT repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

With our intensities we can magnify the pressures to the point of exploding or imploding.  We have the capabilities to modify how we handle and how we perceive the pressures.  Take time to become aware and understand those personal pressures and manage the ideal level for functioning effectively.  It is our choice.

What pressures do you experience?   How have you adjusted the pressures?  What changes did you make?

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