How to Manage Me

It is very frustrating to always be trying to blend in.  Mediocrity does not work well for me.  It leaves me feeling all bottled up.  And of course there are the slips when I forget and do not keep what I think or feel contained. 

There is also the fact that I experience and relate things with such intensity it scares people away as well as exhausts me.  My sensitivity to light, sound, touch, smell, other’s feelings is high and keeps me spinning. 

And of course there are expectations galore by parents, teachers, others in general and then you add me.  How can I ever meet all these expectations?  I can’t seem to get things perfect?  What if I am not as smart as everyone thinks I am? 

Do any of these sound like your experiences?  Have you felt the void, the discomfort, the rejection, disappointment, frustration, overwhelm, not belonging, anger, torn in many directions?  What have you done to manage your responses and reactions?

Understanding yourself is a great first step.  Understanding you are excitable, intense, generating multiple ideas at a rapid pace, require stimulation, and become immersed in the flow.  You also struggle when things do not come easy.  Fight with yourself when it is not perfect.  You expect certain things from yourself and deal with the expectations of others.

Have you develop coping strategies of blending in by dumbing down, remaining silent, acting the clown, having an attitude of “it doesn’t matter”,  stay the course and do only what is necessary?  The question then becomes how do you feel?  Being different also brings reactions from peers, adults, and others in general that are not always pleasant or comfortable.  Here understanding comes in handy again.  What and why are you doing as you do?  Honor that the correlating feelings are real and ok.  Now make a choice – is this the experience you want, can you change your (response, reaction, action, or expression); what are your options.  Knowing you have a choice and making a choice is empowering.  It changes how you express and others respond.  It changes how you see yourself and others see you.

What about all that stuff that comes naturally to you?  You don’t have to think about it, it’s just there in one fell swoop.  So it is second nature, you just do it, just know it.  However if you pursue those talents, now what?  Does perfection or mastery become your theme?  Are you willing TO LEARN to gain the mastery?  Do you know how to learn?  Can you take things in steps, analyze the progress and succession necessary?  Keep in mind mastery is a lifelong growth process and perfection is an end – a destination.  What if something you are not good at would enhance what you do?  Can you learn the new talent – apply yourself to develop a skill that does not just happen?  Yes, learning to learn is a tool for self-management.

Expectations……… yours or others….. where do they get you?  Expectations can be a motivational factor or a deterrent.   I / you should do this or that… more of a deterrent.    If I do this I can expect……more motivating if it is a desired result.   First step in deterring expectation is – where is that ‘should’ coming from (inside or outside of me)?  Next step is there any ‘want to’ in the ‘should’????  Why should you?  What will happen if you should not?  Knowing your desires can lighten the load of the shoulds.  Keep in mind, that you have responsibilities which need to be carried out.

We are who we are and we have a choice in our life experiences!

 

What do you struggle with?  How do you manage those struggles?  Share in the comments so we may learn from each other. 
 

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