Connections for a reason

February 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Things happen for a reason.  There are no accidents.  All in good time.  Ask and you will receive.  Synchronicity.  Intuition.  Being in the right place at the right time.  Put it out into the universe and let it go.  Coincidences.  Chance. Happenstance.  Whatever you want to call it, it happens.  What are your beliefs around such things?

 

Stephanie Tolen in “Change your story, Change your life” talks about the event where high ability children talked, argued, debated the beginning of the story and the next section with no conversation was shared in sequence of the children with no further discussion –telepathy?  The concept of Indigo children, label given to children who are claimed to possess special, unusual and/or supernatural traits or abilities, And different experiences described for children are also described by adults.  We may not understand it, but it is and has happened.

 

Science and Magic – the first is factual and the second is imaginary.  Is that true?  The Science depends on the point of view.  The scientific method is to determine “facts” that can be repeated and consistent.  The Magic is where science begins – not understanding how things are or imagining how things can be.

 

Gifted, high ability, multi-talented individuals experience and discover things differently – is it science or magic?   The expansive way we observe, feel, connect our internal and external environments are the foundation for leaps in concepts, ideology and the coincidental connections.

 

Everyday genius with a heightened awareness and attunement with internal and external environments will provide for increased chance connections and synchronicity.  Being open to ideas and possibilities, allows you to see a broader perspective and make those connections.

 

It is factor that what is happening simultaneously in your era of time, your environment, and community influences the opportunities.  However, if your eyes are not open you will not see.  If your ears are not unplugged you will not hear.  Your mind and heart must also be unobstructed.

 

Approaching life with: how can I be of service, how can I be true to myself, how can I give and receive, and how can I create … will lead to connections without rhyme or reason.  To the unknown becoming known.

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I’m making it, right?

February 12, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I have a good paying job.  I have responsibilities at work.  I have progressed in my career.  I have a home and a family.  I have a place of my own and a circle of friends.  I do a variety of activities outside of work.  I play hard.  I have contributed to the community.  I am making it, correct?

Why then do I have this gnawing inside me – like I know there is more, but what is it?  Or I keep having nudges of old ideas and dreams and know that is not possible – I am making it.  I meet the everyday standards for a successful life, why am I not content?  I am being me or what is expected of me, yet, I don’t feel like me.  Does it sound like I am talking in circles?  I feel like I am going in circles.  I had big dreams and nothing has happened.  The days and years have passed.  I am making it, but I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  I have made lots of decisions by default, what was the responsible thing to do, what was expected, what was available and I can do that, or what I thought others would want.

I know I am smart and can do anything I put my mind to.  I have learned much in many different areas.  I have solved problems.  I have created long lasting events, entities, and contributed to many companies and organizations.  I have started anew many times and achieved results.  I have dreamed, but not really accomplished my dreams.

I have layer upon layers of me.  I have many masks I wear depending on the situation, the environment and the triggers I am responding to.  All the masks I wear, all the roles I play are connected by who I am – and who is that?  I want to take the many masks I wear and recognize the idiosyncrasy of each one.   I want to recognize the common foundation.  I want to create an integrated image that shouts this is me.  I want to express my talents and abilities, leaving a legacy.  I want to make a contribution that keeps on giving.  I want to experience joy and not hold back because of the down that follows.  I want to be comfortable being in my flow more consistently, knowing it signifies my difference and that is ok.  I want to soar with the owl – observing and acting in the dark and in the light.

I want to be me, that child that dances and shouts for joy about the little things.  I want to see the world with awe and wonder and not through filters of should.   I want to be comfortable in crying, singing, quiet, and zealous verbosity.  I want to put the puzzle pieces together for the problems for which I see solutions.   I want to create my story – fantasy and all.  I want to flit and flight from one thing to another.  I want to pursue an endless bucket list.  I want to be a whirlwind of activity and a roller coaster of emotions.

It is time I understood who I am.  It is time I broke out of the parameters of expectations and habits that bind me.  It is time I achieve mastery of my chosen potential.   It is time I expressed my multi-talents with elegance and continuance.  It is time I connected through my multi-talents with others of like mind and integrally with those around me.  It is time I connected the pattern of dots I can see and make that my reality.

Are you making it?  Are you feeling and incongruence?  Is it time for you to be?

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What expression of your abilities brings you the most joy?

January 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Delving into “Practical Genius” by Gina Amaro Rudan, I defined my opening question to connect with others from my story.  The idea is to be in your sweet spot (your G –genius- spot) continuously to relate authentically from your whole paradoxical being.  Your personal quest question leads to more intimate exchanges to enhance those you come in contact with genius as well as your own.  An opportunity to grow, share, collaborate and make a difference.

So the starting point is to answer my own question.  What expression brings me the greatest joy?   My delight is in providing the impetus for self-identification and “how to” manifest/implement dreams, desires, expressions, passions of multi-talented individuals.  I am exuberant when others gain their “aha” and lay out the next steps for the big picture.    The truth be – anyone that sees who they are and can be and goes forward is very exciting to me.

I am a sponge for information and resources – love to learn, explore, discover.   Then to be able to pass on tidbits or guidance for others to know “how to” versus trying to decide if they can or can’t, is who I am.  I do not know all the answers and enjoy finding out the next surprise, option, possibility.  However, I do know how to find answers and that is where one of my talents lies.

To teach – be able to provide information that stimulates others to think or they can integrate into their puzzle is gratifying.  My mind collects information; makes connections; is stimulated by puzzles, challenges, problems, and questions.  The result is the synaptic connection of stored information and experiences to be shared as questions or starting points.  Yes, a creative process that is a synergetic interaction.

So as I write, teach, listen, observe, share, collaborate, I am experiencing my flow with exuberance.  What about you?  What expression of your abilities brings you the most joy?

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Others’ Reactions

January 22, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I have been working on a major project which is to come to a main bench mark here shortly.  The thought of putting me out there brings excitement, enthusiasm and a great deal of trepidation.  Yes, I am worried about others’ reactions and the results.

As a coping strategy, I shoot for maintaining a neutral viewpoint.  The results will be what they will be.  I have put forth my best effort.  True everything is not perfect, but I have applied myself diligently toward excellence.   You see that way whatever the outcome I am to accept it gracefully without an emotional reaction.

The reality is there is a lot of self-doubt.  Will my presentation relate to the audience?  Will people understand what I am trying to say?  Will I achieve my intended goal?  Am I really as smart as I think I am and others say I am?  Ok, is this just ordinary fear stepping in?  Does everyone have this experience?  Am I just human?

Another factor to the neutral approach is that it minimizes the exuberance or the devastation of the outcome.  Now there is nothing neutral about that.  It is intense.  The neutral approach is the result of shutting down the intensity of feeling anything and everything.  It is like riding a roller coaster with the breaks on all the time.  This takes a lot of energy to maintain and can be quite exhausting.  It is hard work.  It would be much easier to let the roller coaster go full tilt.  Then we come full cycle – how will others react?  I need to fit in, too.  Enter the Imposter syndrome into the experience.

Knowing this will be what I will go through with whatever I try strengthens my basic resistance for trying anything or going for a goal.  Keep it safe, keep it simple, just do my job.  That will be a lot easier; boring, not as much fun, but less energy generating or draining.  Will I take the risk?  Will I maintain the wall around the emotions?

I so want to be like Happy Feet – lead from within; acknowledge the strength in my differences and DANCE!  This will take courage.  It is not the easy road.  It is the road less traveled.

How can I go forth and embrace me and my accomplishments?   I need to understand, honor, and acknowledge who I am.  I need to not do it alone.  I need to connect with others of like mind and establish a support team.  Yes there is power in numbers even to conquer internal fear and resistance.  Courage to act – for action speaks the loudest.  So I will proceed.

That does not mean the trepidation has vanished.  However, I am moving beyond neutral and will DANCE, knowing that others’ reactions will vary and be theirs.  I will be supported and know exuberance in my expression of who I am.

And what about you???????

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Curiosity – exploring new things

December 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 

Do you enjoy exploring, trying, discovering new things?  Do you have curiosity about how things work or the wonders of nature?  Do you have a list of things you want to do, see, experience, hear?  Do you have an insatiable desire to explore, experience, and learn?

I  do!  The video shows my most recent venture to try something new – indoor skydiving.  It was a little challenging to figure out how to shape the body to maximize the wind flow.  Then the determination to do it “right” kicked in (perfectionism).  Reminded by the instructors to relax and enjoy.  There was the rush of going up and down through around 20 feet (not the 1000s of feet from a plane, but still impressive).

Lots of things for me are a onetime event.  I try or do something and I have had the experience.  I visit or see something, with oohs and ahhs, into each nook and cranny, ask lots of questions, read lots of info and ready to move on to the next adventure.  Doing something new and different adventures is in my blood.  Yes, I do have topics/areas on delve into with great intensity and detail.  However, I enjoy the challenge and childlike wonder of first time experiences and exploration.

Routines and status quo has its place.  I need that also.  Things, places, and people I can depend on and that bring order out of the chaos.  The stimulation of the new is something I thrive on.  It is the foundation for my creativity.  It counteracts boredom.  It keeps me feeling alive.

The adventures can be through reading or virtual.  However, the hands on experience – to see, touch, feel, experience directly is vibrant and results in exuberance.  What is your next adventure? Share below, an exchange of things to do, see, experience……

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I Quit!! Have you ever felt that way?

December 23, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Goals, passions, desires, objectives, creations, ideas, solutions, drive you to keep going, make things happen.  Then there is life, responsibilities, necessities, work, basics that need to be done.  So much to be done….  So much desired…. A dream…. A wish…. A need…. A commitment….

You apply yourself diligently and deliberately with extreme focus and yet manage the rest of life’s demands.  The point comes of exhaustion.  The question arises does it matter?  Is it worth the effort?  Should you continue?  Will it really matter? Why are you doing it?  Are you limiting yourself with such a focus and dedication?

It is enough! No more!  I quit!  And yet, the tendrils of passion and desire have a strong hold.  Do you want to give up on yourself?  You are so close to a major breakthrough, a significant accomplishment.

You push and push to make things happen.  Obstacles and detours come into play.  You take a deep breath and push on.  It all takes its toll.  Enough is enough.  After all you have tried.  The cliché comes to mind “when things get tough the tough get going”.   So you question yourself and ask are you a quitter?

You no longer want to go the road alone.  However, who will understand the inner war you are experiencing?  You are so tired.  Do you have the energy and the desire to reach out, to risk not being understood?

Does this have value to me?  Who will benefit?  What will be the benefit?  Can I take the next step?

Yes the pattern has cycled around again.  This is not the first time on this journey that you have reached this point.  What do you do to move – forward?

  • Take a deep breath.
  • Take time out – a little R & R can make a big difference.
  • Change the activity for a moment, a day, or a week.
  • Do call a friend, a buddy, a master mind colleague, a success team member, a mentor, or an advisor.
  • Journal – let you mind and heart pour itself out on paper in words or pictures.  Let go and let flow – meditation, hot springs, massage, body work, nature hike, a swim, or…..
  • Recognize, acknowledge the cycle and the progress to date.
  • Give yourself that pat on the back.  Plan a little so you can see the next little steps for continued movement.

Dance with happy feet.  The spiral is turning the upward corner!  Quit can be part of your vocabulary and not part of your habits.

What is your experience with quitting and moving on?  Share in the comments.

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My Problem is I’m Really Smart – Now What?

December 11, 2011 By Leave a Comment

          I have finally come to accept that I am really smart.  I probably meet the qualifications for being gifted and maybe Mensa.  So maybe, I am not crazy after all.   Achievements, I have some, nothing major.  I know I have always had lots of ideas, racing thoughts, and solved things easily.  I have been able to make it ok with a job and family.  My kids are doing well.  I do see them struggle some like me.  That’s just the way it is. 

          Yet, something does not feel right.  I question myself.  I feel like I don’t know where I am going.  I have never fit in, really.  I am feeling down.  Even the depression is different then everyone else’s.  I know there is more, but don’t know what or how?  What’s next? 

Can you relate?  We need to know we are very smart and we need to understand that means we are literally wired different.  Just like science has found that depression can result from a chemical imbalance.  Science has found the brains for the very smart are wired differently.  And guess what the brain is connected to the rest of us and thus emotions, personality, spirituality, energy levels are all affected.

We need to understand how this different wiring affects us.  We need to grasp how we are different and what is our “norm”.  This gives us the foundation to work from in our everyday lives.  We can then look at the effect of home, community, and work environments.  We can also integrate how the period of time within which we live contributes to who we are.  We see the big picture, thus we integrate all these factors without consciously reviewing.  Gaining this understanding creates a structure for us to work within.

Knowing the science of being wired differently and the impact of internal and external environment, we can now look at the habits we have developed, characteristics, expectations, and the void.  We want to overcome – implement strategies for dealing with each.  We want to look at changes for habits such as: dumbing down, fitting in, withdrawing, class clown, arrogant SOB, etc.  We want to consciously accept or let go of the expectations we have of ourselves and others have of us.  We want to experience and manage our intensity of emotions and all our senses.

To be able to combat the void we need to develop our “gifts”, “high abilities”, or “multi-talents” – basically who we are and what we can do.  Developing requires learning, being challenged, mastering through practice and persistence, exploring, and experiencing fully.  Developing goes beyond doing what comes easily.  Developing involves having a vision (a work in progress not in concrete) for ourselves.

Expression is very much a part of the process and the solution to our everyday living.  The expression can be a simple creation for our own enjoyment or a major statement within the world.  We need to create, be in our flow, to rejuvenate our souls and lubricate all of the pieces to our persona.  Do it!

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Personal Standards | Where Do You Set the Bar?

November 11, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Personal standards just like academic, product or company standards are important.  Standards need to be excellent, not perfect.  As a multi-talented, perfection is many times where my sights are set.  I expect much of myself and dealing with failure is difficult.  I know I am capable of many things and doing well.  Different points of views enter my mind when I have completed a project.  I receive a complement and a pass it off as no big deal, anyone can do it, what if I am found out (a fraud).  Or, that was not complete; it needed more done; should not have sent it on / showed it.   Or, it will never work; it is not making the standard, might as well quit.

My expectations and others enter into the picture of where the bar is set.  Consideration for wanting to be accepted is a factor.  The critical aspects are my values, the desire to see the good and trust, to make things better, to get results.  With what seems like obsessive behavior that gets classified as overachievement I pursue excellence – a high standard of performance.  In contrast, certain things do not matter and are let go or not done.  That has to do with focus and “shoulds”.   Am I ambivalent on my standards?  That leads to the question can I be all things to all people or do everything with perfection?

I can have a low tolerance for incompetence.  I am very supportive for those who apply themselves.   My bar is set high for others also.  I want to see them reach for their potential.  I become very disappointed and frustrated when organizations drop the bar to allow their staff to be promoted versus providing the support to encourage greater personal development.  And yes that sometimes means a financial investment in the human resource.

I realize perfection is not the goal.  The purpose is development, growth and achieving excellence.  I fight with my personal daemons regularly.  I assist others as they fight with similar challenges in their lives.  Set the bar high – make it part of life’s adventure to grow, develop and express with excellence.  Where do you set the bar?  Share your experience in the comments.

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To Test for Mensa or Not

November 9, 2011 By 2 Comments

I have thought for a long time “I am Smart”.  I have been told that I am smart.  I was a challenge for the teachers in elementary school.  I did not officially get tested or labeled for any gifted programs.  I changed schools too often probably.  I took lots of tests for college and grad school – SAT, ACT, MCAT, GRE.  All the tests said I was high average.  I used myself as a case study in my first master’s program.  One of the tests was the GATB and I scored high, but not high enough for the cut off point for my original vocational goal.  So everything is saying- yeah, you are smart, but no big deal.  There was still part of me in conflict.

I knew I could grasp concepts quickly.  I know I had “dumbed down” much of my work in most of my classes.  The struggle was, wanting to fit in and not be seen as “too” smart.  That behavior developed some habits to minimizing my abilities and increased self-doubts of being smart.

I had challenges at work of fitting in.  I made choices and was passionate to make a difference.  In employment settings the barriers for change were significant and I would move on.  I took a week long training and came to conclusion my message and purpose laid with creating opportunities of other smart people to understand themselves and express their potential with confidence.

I delved into the body of knowledge about gifted adults, smart people, and underachievers.  It validated my experiences and characteristics.  I expanded my understanding.  I recognized how I had been expressing my talents throughout the years.

I attended a conference and met experts in the field of gifted and talented.  I was asked about Mensa and testing in general for being gifted.  I indicated no I had officially been tested.  One person asked, don’t you want to know?  I did not want a test to define me. Yet, here was the self-doubt, what if I did not make the cut off?  Was I fooling myself?  What if it proved I was not as smart as others thought I was or I felt I was?

There also was my perception that Mensa was like academia and I did not fit in that circle.  Classroom education and the real world education were two totally different animals.  That is coming from someone with four degrees.  However, the last two degrees were non-traditional after the one graduate experience on campus.

A friend shared some stories about Mensa with me.  I read and explored the Mensa sites and blog posts on the gatherings.  It began to intrigue me and changed my perspective.  I thought maybe, just maybe, I would test.

My purpose is to acknowledge and develop my potential.  At the same time, I want to help others that had a similar journey.  I needed to know.  I took the home Mensa test.  The results showed I did not make the cut.  I accepted I was in the top 3-5%, but not the top 2%.  Mensa sent more information for the official testing.  Why bother?  I already knew I would not make the cut.  Then part of me said why not, make it official.  The testing process includes two tests so that there two chances to make the grade.  It I didn’t then it would be final.  I would know that was not my reality.  However, this little seed then said maybe I would need to connect with a colleague and complete some other testing.

I took the Mensa tests.  The testing process was simple and no surprises.  I received the results expecting not to have made the eligibility requirements.  I opened the envelope and it said Congratulations!  I had made the cut.  I was excited and validated.  I really was smart not just a smart-aleck.   I was not almost smart enough – I was smart.  Crazy response, but those feelings were going through me.

It amazed me that I felt a sense of relief.  I was not making it up.  I did fit in somewhere.  I was not in limbo land.   I knew what I thought and perceived about myself was real.  All this was the inner conversation and had been part of the conversation for a long time.

I have strength.  I have shared my talents and abilities.  I have explored a multitude of interests.  I have fine-tuned my ability to assist others in finding and developing their passions.  I felt even more confident now (kind of silly, but real) that I could further my mission of providing opportunities for others to know, overcome, develop, express, and connect with their talents.  I took the test.  I made the grade.  I am glad I did it.  Now the adventure continues the next steps on the journey of personal growth and sharing & caring.  Join me in the journey.  What is your next step of discovery?

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How Do We Reach Out to Others that are Struggling?

November 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

How do we reach out?  We have struggled.  We know the relief in understanding better what makes us tick.  We delight in meeting others like us.  How did we cross paths with the information or others like us?  Did we get so frustrated we went looking for answers?  That would be natural with our innate curiosity.   Did someone suggest that we look at the information on characteristics of the “gifted”?  Did we come across a book or resource that talked about the “talented”, the “renaissance soul”, the “scanner”, those with high abilities, Mensa, or those with ADD/ADHD, high anxiety, extreme sensitivity,  the imposter syndrome, or ……  And this led us to the characteristics of the everyday genius?  Where and how did we receive a helping hand or the awareness of who we are and how we function?

If we can tell our own story, clarify our own journey, maybe we can answer the question of how to reach out to others.  I know in my daily work setting since I have increased my personal awareness and devoured masses of information, I am meeting others that are struggling with their giftedness.  I am in a position as a counselor then to reach out.  Yet at the same time because of heightened awareness I see the struggles more in the many settings my daily travels lead me.  I also create opportunities for me to connect with others that are making it, but still may have the struggles – professional organizations, service organizations, special interest activities, online forums, and social media connections.  I listen and I share.

Tell your story. Here in the comments.  And keep your story in mind as you wander on your journey of life connecting with others.   Join a forum or board and discuss – others may be hesitant and your story may be the connecting point, the aha.  Leave a comment today.

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